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Monday, August 31, 2009

Looking To Find A Christian Wife

Ever wonder how many single guys out there are actually looking to find a Christian wife? I would think many Christian single women in the market for a husband would be interested in knowing the number of Christian men hoping to find a Christian wife. Well we are too, and that’s one reason why our up and coming singles survey will try to quantify the different number of Christian single men looking to find a Christian wife, those looking to simply find a date and those not seeking a mate or date at all.

Lack of Biblical Guidance on How to Find a Christian Wife

Unfortunately, there is no specific dating advice in the Bible on how to find a wife, and you certainly won’t find dogmatic teaching on this subject. For example, in 1 Corinthians 7:27 Paul writes, “Are you unmarried? Do not look for look to find a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned…”Although there is no “how to find a wife” playbook in the Scriptures, you will find general advice on topics such as waiting on the Lord, that would be applicable in your search to find a Christian wife.

Bible Verse of Day

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”Proverbs 18:22 Dear Father, we pray for my dear brothers in Christ who are seeking a suitable helpmate. We pray for their peace and strength as they wait on you. I thank you that you promise to provide all of our needs in your perfect time. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
author unknown

Friday, August 28, 2009

Is Eloping For You?

So many times in the wedding process, a frazzled bride will exclaim "We should just elope!" But few actually go through with it. Given the high cost of a wedding, and the prominence of celebrities eloping, this might be an option worth considering.

Before you decide to elope, you should carefully consider the pros and cons.

Reasons to Elope
Most couples who elope say that they want to save money. The cost of running away for an intimate wedding and honeymoon typically costs tens of thousands dollars less than a traditional wedding. They also say that they don't want the hassle of months of wedding planning. They may also be avoiding family arguments, especially if one partner's parents disapprove of their choice of spouse, or if a divorced set of parents can't stand to be in the same room together. There's something old-fashioned and romantic about the idea of running off to City Hall. And of course, the stereotypical Las Vegas bride is looking for spontaneity and a fun thrill.

Reasons Not to Elope
You'll be missing out on celebrating with dear friends and family and some may be miffed that you didn't include them. Mothers of the bride especially tend to have hurt feelings when they find out that their daughters didn't invite them to their wedding. If your parents already don't approve of your fiance, this might be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, and your new husband may never have a good relationship with the family. You'll also be missing out on the chance to fulfill your wedding dreams. Some report that after eloping, they always think about the wedding they never had. You might also miss the opportunity to reconnect with friends and loved ones who live far away, but would come for a wedding. And of course there are the pictures and memories you'll miss– instead of looking back on pictures of yourself in a beautiful setting surrounded by loved ones, you might have only a few pics of yourself in an impersonal city hall.--unknown author

Lady A's Take On Eloping
It's all about the intentions of it all. Ask yourself "why?" would you want to elope. Are they good Godly intentions or wrong motives? Are you really that much of a private person, are you hiding, sneaking? What is the main reason for this major decision? Or is the marriage an arrangement so one can get benefits, ie. health insurance, green card, school scholarships, etc...
If your answer is to get benefits, then you need to find another way to go about getting what you need the right way. Ask God for guidance and seek His wisdom. You could save yourself from a lifetime of confusion and regret.
Remember, No matter what the circumstance was of why you got married, God HONORS marriage. Once you say the vows, God expects us to keep and honor them in our heart. No tapping out (divorce).

My story is a bit long, but I married for the wrong reasons:
#1. I was pregnant
#2. It was what my parents/grandparents wanted (I didn't want it!)
I was trying to please my strick Christian family. They kept saying over and over, "it's better to marry then burn." I had to take what was given to me, so I felt. I regret so much because we eloped. I missed out on a once in a lifetime beautiful event with family and friends. The ceremony was quick and in my grandmother's living room (she was a pastor). Family and friends were upset with us, but I didn't feel like explaining. I was upset too.

If I was strong enough, I would have told my parents that I wanted to wait and finish college and if it's meant to be then we'll marry. That would have given me time to sort it all out and know what I wanted. I would have enjoyed my single life and matured even more.
However all is well and God is good. I don't have any regrets of the past anymore. I had to let it go and release it. God gave me the grace to live with my decision and He'll do it for you too. I can honestly say that I enjoy my marriage. It's been crazy, but I have learned a lot that has help others. AMEN!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Take Your Time-Slow Down, Don't Rush

Where is an unfortunate tendency on the part of the whole human race to rush things that we delight in most. If it's good, we want it right now or, better still, yesterday. Some of life's very best stuff is stuff we want to have, handle, and hold quick, fast and in a hurry. We go to Christmas parties in November, we much popcorn that takes only seconds to pop, we rush to wear today what we can't pay for until next year. Love is a good thing, and if you're not careful, it too will become a rushed thing. Take your time.

At every stage of a love relationship with a person, you'll need to work hard to avoid "microwave madness," the frantic rush to meet "him or her" today and get to the "happily ever after" part by tomorrow. Slow down. Give them, yourself, and your relationship the chance to develop deeper roots, and a sturdier foundation than can be produced overnight.

This is no call to procrastinate, meander, or retreat. Unnecessary delay is not your friend. Don't stop any positive forward movement, but don't rush so much that you miss all the sweet, progressive steps along the way, speeding to the finish line.

You are rushing way too fast f you spend more time worrying about how long the kind of love you want is taking than enjoying the kind of love you already have.

Don't be alarmed of Mr. or Mrs. Right didn't jet into your life today. Maybe he or she is on the way by boat, or bus, or bike. Be patient.

Don't lose our calm if head-over-heels love didn't bloom this season, or if rebuilding a fallen love takes more than a day, a week, or a month.

Decide you will slow down and wait. Don't get obsessed with arrival at the destination, savor the thrill of the ride.

Say it: "A deep, rich, satisfying love that can be counted on to endure is what I want. It's not available in instant, ready-mixed, or quick-drying forms. I can, I will, I must slow down."

Do it: Identify the area of your love life about which you have the most anxiety and the biggest tendency to rush. List on paper the fear (s) you have that tempt you to rush. For a week or longer, set a specific time of the day to worry about that. Worry then and there only. Outside of that time, force yourself to slow down and be calm about it.---Ronn Elmore

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Find Reasons to Say Thank You

When you love someone, you want that person to feel secure in your love and enjoy the peace that comes with that security. You you also want to know that you are appreciated, remembered, and understood. You want to hear "please" at the beginning of a request, and "thank you" in the wake of a kindness. Courtesy sends the message that you matter deeply to your mate. It is a way to demonstrate recognition that another person deserves your notice and respect.

Examine your current patterns and make adjustments. For starters, don't make it a habit to throw out the courtesies with the formalities. It's just as easy to relax when you remember to say please and thank you as when you don't. Taking on a mate means that you have two sets of sensibilities and requirements to keep in mind at all times. And part of keeping your mate in mind is demonstration that you love and care through your thoughtfulness.

Different people of different backgrounds and upbringings may interpret courtesy in a variety of ways. Part of respecting your mate involves learning and respecting the courtesies that are especially meaningful to that partner. You can certainly practice the good manners that you find important for yourself, but broaden your horizons to include those that your partner cares about, as well.

Most of all, actively seek out opportunities to show courtesy to your mate. Notice just how many ways, great and small, your mate looks our for your feelings and interests, mention them, and say thank you. It doesn't matter if what your mate is doing is part of the deal you've negotiated with one another. The choice to be faithful to the agreement is itself worthy of thanks.---Ricahard Carlson

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Christian Single Men and Lust

All Christian single men battle lust of the flesh from time to time. In fact, let’s just make that ALL guys, whether they be single men or married men, Christian or non-Christian. One single man pal of mine said if his girlfriend ever knew his thoughts, she would never stop slapping him! Listen, men struggle with lust, and any single man who says otherwise is just lying out of fear, manipulative motives, embarrassment or a combination of the three.The reaction of most single women reading the above about single men may vary:
  • Some may feel disgusted or discouraged that all single men lust.
  • Some may be thinking their single men is not like all the rest they’re dating them (um…dream on)
  • Some may feel so uncomfortable discussing the single men and lust topic that they prefer to ignore it by invoking the Too Much Information (TMI) rule when the subject comes up.

Unfortunately, none of the above reactions will help a single gal really understand and connect with a single men, let alone help him in any way.

Single Men Need Help

What Christian single men really need is an environment of open communication and compassionate counsel that will help him nip lust in the bud. The following verse needs to be in practice for single men to have a chance at conquering lust in their lives:

Bible Verse of Day “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galations 6:1,2 Unfortunately, since many evangelical churches encourage a culture of denial and secrecy, many single men suffer silently, and receive no help at all.

Hope for the Christian Single Man

Fortunately, single men who are dedicated Christians have it way over all other single men. The first reason for this is that they have a real desire to please Jesus. The second reason for hope is that Christian single men have the Holy Spirit living in them, who also gives them the power to fulfill their godly intentions.--unknown author

Monday, August 17, 2009

6 Dating Advice Tips on Break Ups and Ending a Relationship

Ask the Lord for wisdom ( see James 1:5)

As a single Christian, praying for guidance and wisdom in the matter of a break up should be the very first course of action before making any dating decisions. You will be less likely to make a mistake if you do so.

Discuss the break up possibility with family and friends

God often leads through our parents’ dating advice, even if they are not Christians. Proverbs teaches that there is wisdom in using a multiplicity of counselors, so also discuss the possibility of a break up with trusted Christian friends. They may very well give you some much needed advice that helps you make a decision, or puts the relationship in a completely different light. Be sure to use these valuable resources.

Be honest, but speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15)

Never bash your dating partner personally, which will only hurt them even more and affect their self worth for quite some time. Do you really want to do that? Instead, tenderly explain why you feel God’s leading you to end the relationship. As you do this, remember the “Golden Rule”, and how it would feel if someone was breaking up with you. While face to face conversation allows for far better closure, if that is not possible, a handwritten letter is the next best thing. A typed or emailed “Dear John” letter is seen as cold and mean.

Don’t delay the inevitable

Okay, you’ve prayed over the break up. You’ve discussed the issues with family, minister and friends. You know what you need to do. Delaying the obvious now will not only cause more pain for both of you, but will delay the healing process. By acting now, you give the Lord opportunity to begin leading both of you to the soulmates He has in mind. Many delay break ups because they may be using the other person until “something better” comes along. Another reason for delayed break ups is that the other person is manipulating by putting the person who wants the break up on a “guilt trip” to remain in an unhealthy dating situation.

Make a clean break

Right, this is going to be hard, but you must be strong here because it is in the best interests of both to move forward. This means after the break up there should be no face to face meetings (if possible), no emails, telephone calls, letters, etc. While some couples may agree to remain friends, the data suggests that in over 90% of breakups, this fails miserably, and only lengthens the healing process.
Learn from the dating experience

Use this dating experience to learn from your mistakes, and build on the future. What has the Lord taught you about yourself? What has he taught you about what you need in a husband or a wife? If you’ve sexually sinned in this relationship, remember Jesus forgives and cleanses (1John 1:9). Finally, thank Him for the bright plans He has for you (Jer. 29:11).---author unknown

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Pursue Him Because You Want Him, Not Because You Need Him

Forget tradition, forget what Mama told you or what fear led you to believe. The truth of the matter is: THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU MAKING THE FIRST MOVE. But make that move because you want to, not because you've got to. You see him. You like him. You want him. You purse him. Sometimes getting together will be because of you efforts. That's okay. Staying together will be because of both of you.

The most self-defeating misbelief that you could ever hold is that you need a man to call your own in order to survive. You need air. You need food. You need water. As desirable as being loved by a man may be, you don't need to one to survive. If you think you do, you'll act accordingly. If you do that you;ll cheapen your worth as an individual. And, if you do that you are living a miserable and tragic lie.

The love and companionship of a good man may be highly prized by you. You have great expectations of how you (and he) will be better for having come together. Acting upon a desire to have him in your life can have very constructive results. Acting upon a false sense of need to have him in your life is bound to lead to destructive ends.

The women who are happiest with their mean are the ones who can also be happy without them. They recognize that a relationship with him enriches and embellishes her life. It doesn't give her life.

Go for him, but pursue him as you would pursue gold-in order to thrive-not in the way you'd pursue water-in order to survive!

Say it: "The steps that i take toward a man come from desire, not necessity. It is not feverish pursuit of what I need to have, but a deliberate advance toward who I want to have."

Do it: Talk to a few of your sister friends about what the look, feel, and results of need-based love and desire based love are. Apply rigorous honesty as you take stock of yourself on this issue.--Dr. E. Elmore

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Quick Announcement For Anonymous

Anonymous, you left me a comment only for my eyes. Please give me your email address through anyone of my blogs. As you know, the comment with your email add. will not be published. Sorry it took so long, but I was getting some R&R. Hope to hear from you soon!

Alright everyone! Back to the program, I miss you guys!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Touch Promotes Physical Intimacy

The experience of physical intimacy is a basic need for every one of us! Physical closeness is a prerequisite for every healthy individual.


  1. relieves stress

  2. makes us happier and healthier

  3. allows an easy avenue to give and receive affection

  4. strengthens every personal relationship
We are all familiar with people referring to the need for our daily dose of vitamins: it’s every bit as true concerning physical intimacy! Single or married, we all need a daily dose of physical closeness and touch! Sexual intimacy is developed and heightened through sexual touching, part of foreplay. The focus in this article is on non-sexual touching; sexual touch will be discussed in another article.

Touching that promotes closeness between family and friends happens through handshakes, putting an arm-around-the shoulder, reaching out to touch an arm while conversing, the hearty back-slap (careful with the appropriateness of this one!), as well as through many other non-verbal expressions. Touch strengthens every relationship, and is unique in developing and maintaining intimacy between couples.

Within a marriage, the stresses and pressures of life often influence couples at some point in their relationship to emotionally withdraw from one other somewhat. Arguments, conflicts, financial pressures, time demands with both jobs, families, and the inevitable preoccupation with children can all influence couples to feel twinges of isolation and loneliness—even within a committed, loving relationship. What is the answer? Non-sexual touch keeps the emotional doors open between husband and wife! Touch is not just the intersection of two physical bodies; it is the brief meeting of two souls.

The husband plays the key role here regarding non-sexual touch. Develop these good habits to open the door of emotional well-being and promote physical intimacy:
  • Gently brush your wife’s shoulder or back as you walk by.

  • Reach out to her, stroking her cheek while conversing and making eye contact.

  • Always opening the car door for her and touching her as she enters the car.

  • Continue the habit of holding hands, especially when you’re in public.

Put your arm around your wife’s shoulders. It lets her know that you’re aware of her. It’s also an expression of how the two of you “belong together”.

Reach out and touch your partner today!

unknown author