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Sunday, July 5, 2009

Stay Out Of His Stuff



This message is moreso for the single women who are dating. However if you are married I personally feel that if your spouse is giving you a reason to snoop then don't be blind or naive and do what's necessary within means as well as asking him/her. Lady A

You would think that everybody knows to stay out of everybody else's stuff. You would think.
Prying, poking, snooping, opening, searching , and sneaking into are some of the most dangerous an undignified acts any woman can commit. Men hate that some women choose to do it, and the women who love them hate what they uncover when they do it. It's bad news for both of you.
When uninvited, stay out of his drawers, closets, pockets, papers, and cabinets. If you feel it's the only way to get the real truth, that's a sure sign the relationship lacks honesty, trust, and mutual respect in the first place. Whatever it is you may find is not going to make things any better-and probably a whole lot worse!
Getting to the truth is important, but how you get to it is equally important. Whether it's your hands, eyes, ears, or nose in his stuff (or his in yours), we're talking about a serious violation of someone else's space. It has no place in a loving relationship.

Because you wouldn't want, under any circumstances, to admit that you went through his stuff, you will never be in the position to get absolute confirmation that what you found is what you think it is, or means what you think it means. No man, guilty or innocent, will feel obligated to explain evidence gotten through snooping. If you find nothing, you will have to live wit the guilt of having betrayed his trust in you. If you do find something, you are now no less guilty of a crime than you may suppose him to be.

Snooping is a fear-based response. It demeans and devalues the one who does it and the relationship itself. It proceeds from a point of weakness and desperation, rather than straight and assertiveness. It reduces the most refined and intelligent women, instantly transforming them not unappealing blobs or paranoia.
Keep your eyes open and ask for honest answers to your honest questions. Draw conclusions and make decisions based on information you have gotten by legitimate means. Trust yourself enough to be able to do what you need to do with what you've gotten rightly. If you go looking for dirt, you are liable to find it, and it's liable to get all over you.
Say it: "Respect for his privacy and possessions is reason enough for me to stay out of his stuff. Respect for myself is an even better reason."
Do it: "Congratulate yourself, either because you've never been guilty of snooping, or because you won't ever be again."
Dr. Elmore




4 comments:

Sassy Trends said...

I no agree witht his one ooo.. a little snooping is good for ur curiosity abeg... I snoop and its way better off for me.
Your level of maturity allows you to handle things sensibly and know how to throw it at him without he being defensive or angry..
Nice write up though

Hi, enjoy the week.

Oyin said...

HMMM, This kinda play in my field here...the mrs. is now snooping..and now know what our plans are for next month. Im sort of pissed and now want to just let go because she will now hinder us doing anything. But anyway, how are you girlie...

My link has now changed to www.kinshar7067.blogspot.com

Lady A said...

@Sassy Trends, lol! I agree with you girl. I still snoop like crzy only when hubby gives me a reason. Thanks and u enjoy ur week too!
@Oyin, my girl! I don't know why she is snooping when she already knows. Don't let it upset you and u know what you need to do, I know certain things take time. Thanks for the new link.

doll said...

i like dis