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Friday, July 17, 2009

Rules Of Relationship (male perspective)

Just For Fun Friday! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If
it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
down.

2. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be.

3. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going
to think of it that way.

4. Crying is blackmail.

5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

6. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your
girlfriends are for.

8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact, all comments become null and void
after 7 days.

10. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us.

12. If something we said or do can be interpreted two
ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we
meant the other one.

13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
how you want it done. Not both. If you already know
best how to do it, just do it yourself.

14. Whenever possible, please say what
ever you have to
say during commercials.

15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and
neither do we.

16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.

17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.

19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine. Really.

21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

22. You have enough clothes.

23. You have too many shoes.

24. DRINKS are as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

25. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

6 comments:

darkelcee said...

hmmm, so we have access to their thots?

if i think i am fat then i am and stop asking questions..... great.

have a nice weekend

Lady A said...

Girl, you are excused! Your situation is different, stop it! I used to ask my hubby, he never answered, but you can tell by the look on his face that I was fat, lol. U too, have a great weekend!

yankeenaijababe said...

Wow love this so much, keep them coming. Yeah, don't ask a question unless you are prepared to discuss.lol

Lady A said...

@YNC, unfortantly I had to learn the hard way. So true, so true my big mouth got me in trouble several times. Glad u enjoyed!

MyOwnThINg said...

Wow, I love this piece ~ interesting. Insightful! Ta much Lady A

Lady A said...

MyOwnThing, thanks dear! Glad u enjoyed it!