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Monday, May 4, 2009

Rebound Relationships




What exactly is a rebound relationship or dating on the rebound? It’s an intense dating relationship that begins very soon after a long-term relationship goes south. As one experienced single person described it: “A rebound relationship is kinda like jumping from one moving train to another. There’s no time for thinking about what you are about to do. Rebound dating is both exciting and dangerous at the same time.” Now that sounds intense!

The fact is, rebound relationships get bad marks from most single women and men who have tried them. The reason is that instead of being that perfect medicine for mending a broken heart, most rebound relationships fail, and consequently cause more pain for both dating partners.
If you are in a rebound dating relationship now, or just thinking about entering one, consider the following dating advice tips in order to protect yourself:

Rebound Relationship Advice for Those Dating on the Rebound

Rebound Relationships Tip 1: Only Fools Rush In

Ending one relationship and rebounding immediately into the next one, is not healthy for you, or fair to the other person. The reason for this is that you need time to grieve and heal before truly being emotionally ready for a new person.
While it’s natural to feel vulnerable and needy immediately after a breakup or divorce, fight the temptation to rebound so quickly into a new dating situation. It may dull your pain, but slow your healing.
Instead, take this time to evaluate what went wrong in the previous relationship, and think about how you can improve yourself for the next.

Rebound Relationships Tip 2: Get Counsel and Accountability

Before taking the plunge into a rebound relationship, get wise counsel from people who know and love you, and who can keep you accountable to making sound judgements.
Unfortunately, people involved in rebound relationships often seek a “quick fix” for their pain and damaged self-esteem. This leaves the rebound dater open for sexual and emotional manipulation by unsavory types who actually prey on the broken hearted.
Another problem with dating on the rebound is that people who do this tend to seek out the same type of person in the previous relationship, which predictably ends with the same results. That’s why it’s important to have several people who can help keep you centered during your healing process.


Rebound Relationship Advice for the Person Dating the Rebounder

Know the Odds

If you’re looking for a long-term commitment, dating in a rebound relationship is definitely not the thing to do. We counsel against entering a dating relationship with someone you know who:

  • Has been out of their precious relationship less then a year
  • Has shown by their words and behavior that they are not over their previous relationship

If you are dating a rebounder as described above, the chances are great that you a just a “transitory” person. Once the rebounder in the rebound relationship emotionally heals, they usually end up leaving the other person.


Don’t Let your Guard Down

This is usually not good advice, especially if you are attempting to build an emotionally intimate friendship. However, for your own protection, take it very slow with the rebounder, honestly explaining to him or her that you do not want to be a rebound relationship statistic.
This will take lots of self-control because rebound daters are very needy people who will attempt to fill the void, and blunt the pain in their lives by getting real close, real soon. Don’t take the bait, and save yourself much pain.

Author...unknown

6 comments:

Jabez said...

I agree. BE careful of those who are showing so much affection after breaking up from a long relationship. They might just be CONFUSED! haha!!

simeone said...

nice post...true talk.

Lady A said...

@Jabez, lol, yeah, it gets fishy when they show too much of it..
@Simeone, thanks, I just wanna be real and realistc.

Anonymous said...

I was looking for Advise on breaking up and found this great site www.saveabreakup.com I gotta admit its great and it worked for me and helped me a lot.

Lady A said...

Thanks Anonymous!

Randy said...

Wow! My ex jumped into a relationship 2 months after our 7 year relationship. The new guy is eerily similar to me in many ways. This gives me some relief in understanding that my replacement is exactly an attempt at finding a "replacement"