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Monday, December 7, 2009

Romance II

Enjoy! ~Lady A~

Bring it on YNC:

(Romance 102 part 2)
a)The first step for anyone who has ever felt mistreated or hurt in any relationship is acceptance of oneself and improving ones self-esteem. You have to learn to move on from the past and ask yourself. What next? What can be done for a better romantic relationship. It might take weeks or months to heal. During your healing phase, take a pen and paper and list what you want. Think about any new romance like a market list, whenever you hit the store, you always have your small list with you to know what you're buying. If you fail to have the list, you might find yourself coming home with something you don't need. So in any new relationship you find yourself getting into, ask yourself. What do I want? Do I want the same old baggage? No! List and be realistic for what you wishing for:

Example of a romantic list:
  • I know he is not going to be 100% perfect but I accept it
  • I want a God fearing man
  • I want a man who shares my values, my goals
  • I want a man who is romantic
  • I want a man who is caring
  • I want a man who respect womenI want a man who has a reasonable education
  • I want a man with manners
  • I want a man who my family will love
  • I don't want a drunkard
  • I don't want a womanizer

b)Stop making excuses and remove any doubt, enough is enough. How long will you keep giving excuses as to why romance does not exist? It exist, it's your mindset, you have to change it now. You can't receive something good in your life if you don't believe in it. So it's about time to start believing in romance, it sure exist. The Mr. Right for you is silently waiting for a chance in your life, he's around the corner but he will only show up when the excuses and doubt stop. Think about it like this, if you kept making excuses for everything in your life, chances are by now, your life would be so miserable. You won't even graduate college if you believed it wasn't your thing. So tell yourself right now, I will remove from my mind every doubt regarding my next relationship. I know my Mr. Right will find me. Seriously mean it from your heart.

c)Once you stop making excuses and have set realistic goals for your next relationship. It is now time to focus on keeping an open mindset and being at the right place at the appointed time. By having an open mindset, I refer to being sociable with the new people you happen to run into. You can't size someone the moment you meet them. He might not be sexy for you but that does not mean he is not the one. He might not have the right profession but hey, he might be your Mr romantic. The right places in your life is places you find yourself going to all the time. It might be your job, the grocery store, church, cocktail parties, friends, relationship with families, that busy downtown bar, it could be anything. Just focus on your life and do what you normally enjoy doing. If you are a college student, you never know when you might find yourself running into Mr right. If you are a busy lawyer, it might be the new consultant working for your firm. If you are a single nurse, it might be that new male nurse in your unit. If you are visiting your relatives, they might be the ones to know someone good for you. It could be anything people.

e)So now you happen to find Mr. Right who happen to share all your values, the next step is for you to learn to be the bigger person. Don't immediately start to think that what Mr. "x" did to you will repeat itself with new Mr. "B." No! Rather focus on getting to know this new person and seeing what good can be found in it, if you quickly start hating every good that Mr "B" presents into your life. Nothing good might happen from that relationship. The fact that Mr. "x" was not romantic in your life does not mean that Mr. "B" will not be romantic. Take risk with Mr. "B," if he wants to take you for a walk downtown, park the car and go for a walk with him. If he wants you both to go see the museum, do it together, don't say this guy is nuts. If he wants you both to go on a romantic date and he's broke, offer to help split the bill. If he buys your roses, accept it and smile, don't say...he wants some sugar. By sugar, I mean SEX. It's all about growing from the past, not moving back to the past.

f)Suddenly everything I listed worked out in your new relationship, it's 3 months and you are starting to feel the butterflies and all that love feeling everyone loves. Your friends see that you are glowing. The new guy has asked you to become his girlfriend.

So what next:

(Step 1): Smile and be happy

(Step 2): don't forget that any new relationship takes work to remain good

(Step 3): Learn to be the bigger person in your new relationship to keep the romance alive at all times. If your new guy doesn't like you swearing, avoid doing so. If he wants you to be stop wearing short skirts, don't curse him out. Do it. If you going to be fighting him all the time over everything, you might suddenly find yourself single again and writing another list. It's all about learning how to be the bigger person in any relationship.

g) With all said, you are now on the right track towards "romance 103" which is all about engagements, marriage and keeping it all together forever. Now you are officially welcome to the club, go grab your ticket. See you there, can't wait to see what you be wearing. Cheers!So with everything said today, I pray to God to bless us all in our relationships, to anyone looking for true love, never give up on love. It will find you sooner than you think, just keep being positive, believe in romance for your blessing is on the way. Also, let us not forget those in need at this special time of the month, if you see or know anyone that has nothing to eat this thanksgiving, share with the little you have. Even if you don't have money to give, give your time, call a good friend. Do something for someone and may God richly bless us all as "we" think about others in need. I hope we all have a good thanksgiving week. I am out of here, will be back to read all your blogs. Stay blessed. Bye!

Author: Yankee Najia Chick


Anonymous said...

Words of wisdom...

Lady A said...

@True Woman, I agree. Thanks for reading!