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Friday, December 4, 2009

Romance I

This is an article written by one of my favorite bloggers. I am sure you all will find this information very useful. Enjoy!

Good So your girl has been thinking lately about this topic, "Romance 101 part 1" knowing my anniversary happens to be next week with my baby. I have been with the man of my dreams now for 3 years. Love is like a roller coaster ride, some days everything feels like paradise, sometimes you find yourself wondering, what in the world am I doing with this nutty man? So in blogging about Romance 101 part 1, I really don't want anyone to pass judgement or feel obligated to challenge their love life, I want us to all learn from this and better our lives for good. So grab yourself a cup of warm coffee and enjoy reading. Cheers!

What is Romance? A lot of people often refer to romance as the love between a boy and a girl. Others think of roses, kisses, making love, the juicy details involved when a man wants a woman. There is no perfect definition for defining romance,I might define it as falling in love, you might see it as being in love, others might call it worst nightmare for anyone. Well, why are we talking about romance? You might ask me.

3 weeks ago, I happened to run into a Naija sister with complains about a guy she was dating. The dude happen to be African, he wanted to befriend this sister but he wasn't ready to woo her into anything. All he wanted was a relationship right away.I really don't know what he was thinking, but a lot of guys fail to realize that we women love to be swept off our feets prior to being in a relationship. We all want to experience the perfect butterfly feelings, a nice dinner, get roses and teddies, everything cutie that women love. But gone are those days, guys today just want "Yes/No" answers before they waste their money on any woman. Will I say the economy is affecting the mentality of today's man or perhaps times have changed, we have to pass judgements right away before wasting resources on any woman. What do you think?

Whatever happened to the prince charming of yesterday? Today's men now curse women openly. A sister was telling me that she refused to date a Naija man, next thing the guy told her " She lacked proper etiquette, she was loud and not cute" ...are you for real? So are you saying today's men now flip the coin both ways, you refuse a date with me, this is what you get. The sister was depressed for weeks knowing she was asking question, do I really lack proper etiquette? She went on a holy war with herself to change her ways and have ladylike manners, she told me that when next she meets a man, if he wasn't her type and rejected her. She was ready to blast him immediately with WORDS, that was her definition of holy war. Is this what the new romance is turning into where we play games with each other? I pity the next guy who happens to step on her toes, he had better be prepared for what he gets.

Another frequent complain from lots of women and men is that there are few good ones out there? A lot of people fail to realize that LOVE will only find you when it's the right time. Sometimes there might be a purpose why things are not happening so soon. Maybe it's not yet time for you to be in a relationship, maybe you are not yet mature enough to handle Mr Right. Prince charming might be knocking on the door for some ladies, but due to their judgemental minds about romance and love, they immediately turn him down saying, " He doesn't fit my list of Mr Perfect." These women tend to forget that there is no perfect man, even they themselves have flaws and ain't Miss Perfect. How do we solve this mess?The new complain from lots of people today regarding romance is that it's just a myth. Today's romance for some people is all about smile, eat out and make love immediately. Some people refuse dating, they immediately want "SEX" on the first date. Whatever happened to patience in dating, I get to know you for 6-7 months, and we move on from there? A lot of guys and women are rushing their lives and following the system, people want everything to happen now now. It's either she is for me, I taste the juicy fruit or move on from there. The media plays a big role in influencing today's men and women knowing, movies and TV programmes all view romance between a man and a woman as dating in 3 days and making "LOVE" quickly. Are we missing the gap? Is this the new definition of ROMANCE?

Another popular complain from many men and women today is that: If am so romantic to a woman, she would think am fake and want to get some sugar. Most men complain that they are ready to be romantic to any woman they meet, but recently a lot of women have been giving them the "Mean" eye regarding romance. Miss too independent and strong for love, most women also need to soften up and enjoy when being wooed by a man. Some women have already programmed their minds into believing that ROMANCE doesn't exist anymore, therefore when Mr right comes to woo them, they simply reject everything. He sends you a dozen roses, you send it back. He wants to take you to a nice movie, you instantly say NO. What about a nice walk by the London Bridge, the two of us? You immediately question his motives, does this dude think I walk, I drive. Some women have this strong block in their minds, until that block is moved away, they may never experience the joy of falling in love and experiencing the real romance for themselves.

One thing I notice that have changed the way people view romance is "CAREER CHOICES." Today men and women now use career as a #1 criteria before anything can be done, if the man is a doctor and the woman is a lawyer, some guys immediately say, this is the one without even getting to know her. They want somebody that measures up to their potential, we both have to have doctorate degrees or no romance 101. The type of woman they can brag about to their peers, whatever happened to accepting a woman as she is? Even women today are no saints, some women only want men that are politicians, doctors, lawyers, this and that NAME. Spare me the names, if God or whatever religion you practice has destined for your Mr right to be a Teacher.(I am not saying teachers are bad)... Accept it and move on, you can't limit yourself to love by waiting for MR PRESIDENT.

Anyways, I rest my case this morning. Romance is truly complicated, there is no right or wrong answer. The concluding "part 2" will be out next week with a solution for the everyday man and woman. I will also include a short romantic video of my LOVE LIFE for anyone interested, with a story. Stay tuned for Part 2, it would be out during thanksgiving week. Have a good day everyone.


chayoma said...

Good insightful read.

Must confess, guilty of the whole Mr. Perfect thingy.
if he doesn't fit a certain criteria, then there is no chance in hell!
Time to change tactics :)

Anonymous said...

My dear, romance is a complicated matter. There is no particular rule to it.

Pple who get into it b/c she/he is a lawyer, doctor, engineer, nurse and for all the selfish reasons usually regret it.

Myne Whitman said...

You did well to feature this. It was a very good article.

Lady A said...

@Chayoma, I think we are all guilty of the whole Mr. Perfect concept, lol. Just be reasonable and compromise a little.
IE, He may not drive a Benz but he has a car, lol, lol...
lemme stop, but you get my point!
@BeautyGoodone, you right, no rule, however this is one of the MANY ways of romance. Romance is so complex and differs from each person. Just stay tuned for part 2, it's really good.
@Myne, yeah, I felt it would be useful to someone. Thanks!

simeone said...

interesting and also very true...
thanks to both of you..

Lady A said...

@Simone, thanks. Glad you enjoyed it!

yankeenaijababe said...

@Lady A

Don't make a humble Naija sister feel like a " NewYorkTimes Writer"..lol

Really appreciate you all loving the post. I am just a humble Naija writer. Thank you once again.

Lady A said...

@YNC, actually, you are! Keep them coming. No sweetie, THANK YOU!