Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Loving a man requires that you know exactly when to be "hands on" in demonstrating that love, and when to be "hands off." Although you may sometimes find it difficult to decide on which one when, the two are not mutually exclusive. You do well to do both.
There are some things that are best done standing up and some sitting down. Supporting him is one of the former, trying to keep him is one of the latter. Often, women who love men invest far too much time and effort in just trying to keep them, rather than working to build a relationship that is strong and mutually affirming.
The motivation to claw, scratch, or maim any other woman to ensure that your man stays your man comes from a fearful, insecure part of your being. The inspiration to support and champion his cause comes from millennia of accumulated strength and power, there inside your soul. You are always at your best when you walk in power rather than fear. Let your power be used to fortify him and under gird him, not just to constrain him to stick around.
Do everything you can to make him a constant witness of your willingness to let him draw from the pools of your strength.
You are worth more than having a man who sticks around only because he "should," "ought to," and "must." You deserve one who's there with you because that's exactly where he wants to be. Your loving and supportive ways can be powerful motivators for him to remain committed to love and gladly linger with you. Too often, listless lovers use the threat of their imminent departures to exploit, frighten, or control their women. Give him a surprise. Let him know, "I'd love you to stay, but if you've got to go, go!"
Say it: "It is not mine to fight anyone or anything to keep the man I love. Keeping power in inside his love for me, not inside my anger or my fear.
Do it: If you were your own therapist, what insights relate to you, and how you operate with the men in your life.---Ronn Elmore