He's Fine...But Is He Saved?

A lot of times, ladies, when it comes to the opposite sex, we can get a little caught up in looks. For instance, if a brotha steps to you and tries to "holla," we immediately notice his outward appearance -his looks, his clothes, his haircut, his mustache or beard, or lack thereof. Most women are impressed by a man who packages himself well. Besides, there's nothing wrong with a little eye candy, right? However, single women of God, we must be careful not to be so mesmerized by the way a man looks, or the smooth lines he uses, that we forget to find out the most important characteristic of a man who is worthy of a Christian woman's time, which is whether or not he has accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior.

A woman can be so impressed by the way a man presents himself, that if she is asked out, she may not find out if he goes to church, let alone if he is saved, until about the third or fourth date (if she hasn't given it up already).

Women of God, it's time for us to ask these questions up front. I immediately ask any man who approaches me with interest whether or not he is saved. If he starts acting "nervous in the service," then I view that as a red flag. Most of the time I end up witnessing to someone like that so he can get saved (Hallelujah!). But we shouldn't be afraid to ask.

Why don't we ask up front? Is it because we're afraid of the answer? Is it because brotha man looks so good that you wouldn't mind being seen out on the town with him on your arm? Is it because you hadn't dated in a while and are looking forward to a night of companionship and a free meal? Or is it because, if you find out he isn't saved, then maybe if he dates you a few times, he will eventually get saved?

The Word of God talks about not being unequally yoked with unbelievers. It also describes the importance of two walking together in agreement. One can minister to someone else and be a light for him, without committing to a relationship with that other person. We, as Christians, are called to be lights to the world, not a friend or lover of the world.

Also, it is not enough to find out if a man who is pursuing you is saved. You want to make sure that he reverentially fears the Lord. Does he worship God? Do you see him do it? Is his lifestyle conducive to the Word of God, or does he at least sincerely try to live for Him? The way a man loves God will dictate the way a man will love you.

Love must be vertical first, before it can ever be horizontal. Sure, he may say he loves you, and he may do nice things for you, but, more importantly, is what he does for God. Does he love Him? Jesus said if you loved me, you would keep my commandments. Is he pressuring you to have sex? True love waits, so if a man is pressuring you, then that means he does not fear God, and that he does not love you, because true love would not cause you to do anything to hinder your relationship with God.

Ladies, I am not implying that you should ask a man all of these questions on the first date. In doing so, more than likely he will just tell you want to hear. Instead of laying all of your cards out on the table, first, find out if he is saved, and next, observe. Even the Word commands us to watch and pray. See if his salvation profession is sincere. Only by observing and making sure his actions line up with his words will you see if a man has the ability to love his future wife the way that Christ loved the church.

Author: Kim Brooks