Your kids look up to you-take advantage of it while you can
Games of catch are a good start, but it's the deeper lessons that count. The best way to start: Minimize you kids' Wii-time in favor of we-time, no matter what activity you're engaged in. There are teaching opportunities everywhere—whether they're delivered directly or subconsciously. Use these tips to shape good character, 365 days a year.
1. Be More Vocal
Speak up: Your kid is listening. In families with two working parents, fathers have a greater impact on their children's language development by age 3 than mothers do, according to a study in the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology. Provide a creative, dramatic play-by-play of the activities you're engaged in and your surroundings. Use big words, even if they're unfamiliar to your kid. Children learn a lot by context.
2. Don't Give in to Tantrums
"When your anxiety visibly rises, you add fuel to the fire," says Hal Edward Runkel, a family therapist and the author of ScreamFree Parenting. And if you simply hand over a piece of candy, you encourage more bad behavior. Instead, when your kid starts shouting, be calm and attentive. Don't ignore it. This signals that you will not be rattled and the child won't win—ever. It may not work for the first tantrum, warns Runkel, but it's magic by the fifth.
3. Challenge Them
Children as young as four years old start to compete with their parents—sprinting to the car, wrestling on the sofa, stuff like that. Roll with it. Let them win a lot, and then slowly ramp it up so they have to work harder for their victories. "It's a way for kids to develop a sense of strength and to let them test their muscles," says Justin Richardson, M.D., who teaches psychiatry at Columbia University. They'll start to walk more confidently and be less of a mark for bullies.
4. Encourage Calluses
If you can instill in your kids an enthusiasm for work, that's about as good a gift as a father can give. Within earshot of the kids, explain to a friend or family member that they helped paint the Adirondack chairs, and make it clear how pleased you were with their effort.
5. Teach Them to Tinker
When your kids are little, take them with you to the hardware store. Let them watch you explore that leaking faucet or flickering lamp, trying to figure things out. There's magic in repair, especially in an era when so many things are just replaced instead of refitted. You want the kids to see the world as susceptible to their wit or muscle, to their ingenuity and effort.
6. Set Realistic Expectations
Maybe you don't wish for a prodigy, but our competitive society suggests otherwise. That's why so many kids have trouble focusing, says C. Andrew Ramsey, M.D., a psychiatry professor at Columbia University. Make sure your kids know your expectations. Celebrate improvement first. And explain the value of slow mastery. "Whether your kids love Tom Brady or Beyoncé, let them know that these people succeeded because they mastered one skill," says Dr. Ramsey. "
Learn to go through one door and many others will open for you; try to go through five doors at once and you'll go nowhere."
Men's Health Dad
