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Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Do's And Don'ts Of Valentine's Day

1. Don't go on a date just because it's Valentine's Day. Don't allow the pressures of Valentine's Day cause you to make a desperate decision. If he's not your type or you're simply settling for the sake of having a date on Valentine's, cancel and take yourself out! Your time and your life are too precious to waste on anyone that doesn't qualify for your time and space.

*The Heart of Friendship-Join a few friends of your other single girlfriends for dinner, the comedy club, or a pamper party.
*Will I be my Valentine? Use this as an opportunity to do a special makeover for yourself or pamper you with a pedicure or spa treatment.
*Heart Donor-Take the evening and go over to the Children's Hospital and read books or do a puppet show for children who are suffering from heart conditions. This small donation will mean the world to a child who's clinging on to their heart and hope.
*Spend the evening on that special hobby of yours or doing that "thing" that you've always wanted to do but never got around to it.

2. Don't use this Valentine's Day to go to the movies, boring! Instead get creative:

*Icicle Hearts! Okay, you haven't been on skates since you were 6 years old and your date can barely walk on two feet; but ice skating can bring out a whole 'notha' adventure in you that you never knew existed.
*Heart on a Roller Coaster! It's amazing fun and guess what? It doesn't cost a thing: Snow sledding! Before you say no, this frosty treat is a sure heartbeat! Grab a sled board or card board box and you and your Valentine will roll down that hill in laughter! I promise you that by the time you get down that hill, you'll be racing back up for another round.
*Recipe for Love! Everyone's going out to dinner and the restaurant will be packed with at least a 2-hour wait! Call the Culinary Arts School in your area and schedule a 1-hour cooking class for two. You and your valentine can become chefs for the evening and learn how to prepare a new dish and then enjoy the masterpiece you've created! Bon' appetite!

3. Don't break your heart! Or your Father's. The worst thing you can do is have sex with someone who has not paid the price to have your heart through marriage. As a single person, when you have sex, you open your heart, your body, and your spirit to damage, leaving it broken and bruised. Besides, giving up yourself in exchange for a dinner and a movie is literally selling yourself cheap! You are worth more than that; let your date know that you are not up for sale; that cupid doesn't decide who you give your heart and your body to, but God does and you are not willing to break His heart when He's paid such a high price to have you. Keep your heart and your body pure. Leave sex for a night more special than Valentine's Day: your honeymoon!

*Do wear a pretty dress but keep it on.
It's nothing wrong will making yourself pretty for the evening and putting on a splash of perfume and smile for dinner with your Valentine, but date with your clothes on! Don't allow heavy petting and "sexual outer course" to be on the menu tonight. Don't kid yourself into believing that you'll stop there and won't go "all the way." Heavy petting is nothing more than sexual foreplay that prepares you for sex. Reserve these intimacies for the only thing that can handle and contain such power: marriage. Besides, the most attractive, most powerful woman knows how to make love with her clothes on. The essence of true lovemaking and intimacy is developed emotionally and spiritually.

*Do set clear boundaries that will safeguard and protect you from the "oops, I don't know how I ended up sleeping with him". "Oops" is nothing more than a lack of preparation or planning to succeed in sexual purity. Letting dinner end too late or allowing him to come in your home late at night after dinner is an accident waiting to happen. Everyone knows that the night time is the "right time". The body is at a disadvantage the later it gets and doesn't have the full strength to make wise decisions like it could at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. Plan against the late night trap. If you fail to plan, you are planning to sexually fail. Make this Valentine's Day an enjoyable one that honors and upholds your values, your integrity, and your faith.

Dr. Ty Adams

Monday, January 12, 2009



Yes, I said it, in fact, I'll say it again, MASTURBATION! I figure if a few thousand of the millions here on Myspace or blog can expose their breast, proposition you for sex, have degrading music, and nakedness can have the audacity to request me as a friend , then I can say MASTURBATION and tell the truth about it! And given that many of you are doing it or have, let's talk about it. Since the majority of us have at least a 3rd grade education, I'll begin by defining what it is.

Masturbation: the excitation or erotic stimulation of one's own or another's genitals to achieve an orgasm by practices other than coitus/sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, usually manually, occasionally by sexual fantasies or by various combinations of these agencies. Self-gratification, autoeroticism, self-abuse. From the Latin word masturbatus and manstupare, meaning to stir up, to defile oneself, to dishonor, to stupefy.

I have heard it said by many, especially by "Christians", that masturbation is not sex and even if you don't have a third grade education, you can clearly see that masturbation is sex. But many like to use that as an excuse to do it so that they can get a little sex without going "all the way". But whether you have sexual intercourse or sexually manipulate your own genitals to achieve an orgasm, you are having sex. The reason why you masturbate is to achieve an orgasm. And an orgasm is the culmination, the climax of any sexual act, whether it's with a partner(s) or sex with yourself. And that's exactly what masturbation is, solo sex.

Okay, now that we agree that masturbation is sex, then what is wrong with it? I'm glad you asked. For those of you who don't believe in God or live for Him, then this is not for you. But for those of us who not only "believe" in Him, but have actually made Him to be Lord, the One Who governs our lives, then I think it would be only fitting that we investigate what He has to say about it. In order to do that we have to go to God's Space, especially for those of you who say that masturbation is not in the Bible.

"Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly-but only within a certain context. It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder."
You know what I love? The fact that God knows that sex is a good thing makes me want to stop typing and do a tap dance and a cartwheel! In fact, He's the One that created it! And it wasn't a mistake! He did it on purpose, as a gift for His children to enjoy! Imagine God before the foundation of the world, creating an orgasm?!!!!! My God, I feel a praise coming on!!! The sensation that many long to achieve was instituted, manufactured and conceived in the factory of God's mind. He knew the functionality of it, the mechanics of it, and the modus operandi. And God's method of operation for sex is marriage. He created the fibers of sex to be so strong that it could only be contained in the confines of marriage. What is marriage, that only It can contain the orgasm? Because only a contractual covenant can contain something so strong...Anything outside that method would self destruct. Any other orgasm achieved outside of marriage couldn't handle its intense, explosive, addictive, domineering, gripping force without repercussions. Yes, you could very well achieve and very much well, enjoy one, but not without suffering the impact of its climactic aftershocks. Yes, I just said it, Church! Yes, the tremors may feel good, but the aftermath, the consequences of an illegal orgasm is traumatic. You can reach the heights of sexual stimulation during masturbation, but can you handle its control over your life?
Masturbation is what I'd like to call, tormenting pleasure. The three second blissful orgasm achieved by masturbation is just as much tormenting as it is pleasurable. Because God never created solo sex. Masturbation often promises the pleasure but can never fulfill your inward void. And the many people that it has imprisoned by its non~threatening lure to satisfy your sexual desires, come to find that the trap is not worth the 3 seconds it took to get it. Trust me, I've been there, and I'd rather have cold, dry sheets than to fondle my self. Two things I've come to know about masturbation is this:

1. It brings shame,and...
2. It is addictive
Most people who have engaged in masturbation know that the culmination of this sexual act ends in shame. I don't have to share with you the thousands of emails of the admittance of this shame because you know all too well since you have experienced it yourself. Curled up in a fetal position, crying, because your bed is even more empty and you're lonelier than you did before you violated yourself...Because God never created sex so that you could gratify yourself. The dictionary defined masturbation as self abuse...the miss use of yourself. The mistreatment, the manipulation, the exploitation of YOU.
Self abuse from the 1605 Etymology dictionary says that it is self-deception, a synonym for masturbation or self pollution. The American Heritage Stedman's Medical Dictionary says it is the abuse of oneself or one's abilities.
And if that's not already agonizing, it's a never ending cycle that you habitually become dependant upon, like a drug. And like any other drug, you can never achieve the high you're looking for...Because MASTERbation will MASTER you! You enter into a contractual agreement with it and it will govern your life sexually. It will rule and control your life...it taps you on the shoulder 3 o'clock in the morning even when you don't want it. You want to stop but you can't. You cry, you repent and say you won't do it any more but you find yourself molesting yourself again...When will it ever end? I'm here to tell you that cold showers don't work and saying you won't do it anymore won't either. Because masturbation has become your MASTER. Its appetite is ferocious and it will not end until it dominates. It will live up to its definition and leave you stupefied! Its three second ecstasy will put you in a stupor and numb your faculties, your senses and sensibility...Your receptivity and emotional response. It will control your intellect, your reasoning, your judgment of things, and your own significance and leave you trapped in a mind full of warped sexual fantasies. It will overpower you, subdue and suppress you, hold you back, paralyze your forward movement and hinder you from walking in what God has for you. Is having sex with yourself even worth it?
I didn't think so...the only way to come out of the chains of masturbation is to dethrone its power by allowing God to become the MASTER over your sexual drive and appetites. In my book, Single, Saved, and Having Sex, I share with you the effective tools to finally master and conquer the addictive influence of masturbation. Your emails, prayer requests and cry for help over the last several weeks has captured God's attention . Because of that, I am offering my book not only at a deeply discounted price but I will autograph it and ship it to you the same day you order it. Because the torment of masturbation leaves your life TODAY! You will no longer have to be controlled by masturbation because you will now finally MASTER it!
If you are struggling with masturbation, it's time for you to get free! Freedom begins now!
Romans 8:37
Dr. Ty